Queventure.com

Family of Five Traveling the World

Irene Quevedo

Missing Home While Discovery a New One

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I recently visited LA on a quick business trip. It was the oddest feeling to be back in sunny California without my family. Leaving them felt surreal. I still find it hard to believe I just packed up and left my husband and children in a random Granada, Nicaragua rental to board a plane back to LA.

Before breaking the news, I braced myself for tears assuming the kids would completely resent the fact that mommy got to go home… home, home. As fun as all the nonstop travel is, our children often (and quite naturally) miss home. When I thought further about sharing my news, I realized it had been a few weeks since our youngest had cried for his Abuelita, or the oldest had complained of missing out on junior high, or our middle child reminded us how long it’d been since we’d seen our pet yorkie, Jellybean. When I finally spit out the news, our kids didn’t cry though one blurted out in shock: “You’re going to AMERICAAA?” 

They heard me out, called me lucky, and went on with their lives. I realized right then they won’t always miss home. They’re actually adjusting and growing accustomed to our nomadic routine. 

View of Twin Volcano Island in Ometepe, Nicaragua.

They will have their moments of nostalgia of course. The best we can do is express love while assuring them their feelings matter. When they miss home we also always remind them of all that ties us back. The kids keep in touch with pen pals in the U.S. Our oldest has an iPod to FaceTime with classmates. Plus, there’s always the classic telephone call easily connecting us to loved ones. My kids could use the practice developing proper phone etiquette in a text-messaging world.

Missing home is natural and we’re all going to feel those emotions from time to time, but we also love being on this adventure together. The kids have spent more time bonding with one another than ever before, they’re increasingly comfortable in different communities, and have enjoyed experiencing new cuisines, climates, and customs. Missing home is the result of embracing the entire world as our new home and everyone in it as our peers. 

Before I had children, I was often asked if I had any fears, you know the classic college icebreaker stuff. I had only one. My fear was to never become a mother. Then after becoming a mother, I received the usual question inquiring as to how I would be in the role and what my goals were for my children.

Experiencing a ride on the infamous Central American “Chicken Bus.”

In those early years of motherhood, I always proclaimed the basics with a twist… “I want them to be happy and I want them to be truly global citizens.” 

So my children will miss their home of origin from time to time, but they’re also coming to realize their true home stretches far beyond the boundaries of a small town in California. Today, they get to embrace the entire planet as their own, opening themselves up to learn from other cultures without judgment and care for every part of earth without prejudice. More importantly, they’ll learn to fight for social injustices not only in their neighborhoods, but across the globe. 

Our children have the opportunity to be truly global, responsible citizens, and it starts now as they expand what it even means to be HOME, to be Latinos, and to have the ability to advocate for themselves and others, locally and abroad. 

Fitting right in strolling through beautiful (and colorful) Granada, Nicaragua.


I Couldn’t Do That to My Kids

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When we first told our friends and family about our decision to leave our jobs, sell all of our belongings and travel for a year, we received a wide variety of reactions. Some were congratulatory while others asked if we had won the lottery. Some people, quite frankly didn’t believe us. A family member even implied we had gotten into some serious trouble and needed to leave the country (really?!?). From coworkers, I heard rumors that I was fired. It was all quite interesting. 
One reaction though, left me thinking for a long time. This reaction at first surprised me, then confused me, and lastly turned out to be the initiator for some thorough self-assessment. 
The Kids

A few days before we left the U.S. we had a small farewell. In the middle of a crowded and loud bar a close friend pulled me aside and said, “You’re really going to do this, huh?” “Of course!” I replied and with a very serious look on his face and his hand on my shoulder he says, “Well, I don’t mean to offend you but… it’s cool that you get to get away from the stresses of work and get to go on an adventure but, but… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to my kids.”

I couldn’t do that to my kids.
This caught me off guard because at first, I didn’t understand what he meant. How could I be doing this to my kids, as if it were some sort of punishment, when one of the primary driving forces was to do this for my kids?
We both kind of laughed it off and went about having some more adult beverages. 
I didn’t think about it again until the next day, still a bit perplexed by my friend’s interpretation of what we were doing. Eventually I began to understand his perspective. Eventually I understood he looked at our decision as a selfish one, something meant to benefit my wife and I and oh, by the way, we have three young children, guess we better bring them along as well. 
His point of view was that in us pursuing this dream, our kids would be collateral damage. Our kids would have to suffer the consequence of their parents’ wild dream chasing. 
When I thought about it even more, I realized his reaction wasn’t really unique. He had just vocalized it in a less subtle way than others. Thinking back now, many people, including very near and dear family members, looked at us sideways as they say and with thinly veiled suspicion/judgement would ask, “what about the kids?”
I guess I should not have been surprised. It’s not like we had broadcasted or explained this dream to many people. And when things are left unexplained, misinterpretations and false assumptions can run amok.
Reflecting on this conversation even more, it also gave me an opportunity to really analyze our own motives. I had to take as an objective view as possible of our own actions. While we had obviously put a great deal of thought into the effects this decision would have on our children, his comment gave me a different awareness of the situation.
The Risk in Playing It Safe
First, there are the obvious “risks” to our decision. I believe these are the risks my friend alluded to. We were, after all, moving out of our comfortable home, leaving good jobs behind, pulling our kids from great schools, selling all of our belongings and traveling through a number of countries not entirely known for their safety. The concern is what for? Why put ourselves and more importantly our kids through these completely “unnecessary” and optional risks? Seems rather careless in light of the alternative – staying the course: continue keeping on with our jobs, increase our income, move into a bigger home, drive nicer cars, move into an even safer neighborhood, etc. It would be naive to think there aren’t any negative effects on our kids. We worry about the lack of interactions/socializing with kids their own age. We obviously worry about their health. We worry about the water, the mosquitos, the unknown.
However, there’s this. Doug Sundheim notes in his book Taking Smart Risks: 
The dangers of taking too much risk are very clear. We’re reminded of them in the news every day…The warnings of overambitious risks are clear—watch yourself and don’t do anything stupid.
Unfortunately, we rarely hear any warnings about playing it safe.
We don’t see news headlines that say, “Low-risk approach forces local business to file for bankruptcy,” or, “Stunningly conservative move pushes global pharmaceutical company to the brink of failure,” or “Man retires after a mediocre career and feels painful remorse for never having laid anything on the line.”
The dangers of playing it safe aren’t sudden, obvious, and dramatic. They don’t make headlines. They develop slowly over time and are almost impossible to pinpoint. This fact often makes them more dangerous than the high-profile missteps we see and hear about in the news because, like a slow leak in a tire, you don’t see or feel these dangers on a daily basis. You become aware of them only when you realize that you’re stuck and you’re not really sure how it happened.
The dangers of playing it safe are hidden, silent killers.
When we understood this idea, we realized it was incredibly risky to not fulfill this dream. We realized that while we must mitigate any real and immediate dangers, there is a tremendous amount of risk in playing it safe. 
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

How many people hate their jobs? Jobs they’ve been at for 35 years. What was sacrificed for all of those years? What about marriages? How many loveless marriages are out there? What was sacrificed all in an effort to do the safe thing? What about parents’ relationships with their kids? All children grow up and will come to some conclusion about their parents – were they brave? Did they live a life they aspire to? Or did they play it safe? While I wouldn’t go as far to judge playing it safe as “wrong”, my wife and I were clear on the risks of such a life and wanted to pursue something else.

All this is not to say you should run wild and risk it all. But what my friend unintentionally did was solidify our decision, as misunderstood as it may be. We can look into our children’s eyes and with all the confidence of someone who has actually done it, tell them to “pursue their dreams!”

It’s been one hell (strike that) joy of a month…

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Our blog has been on ice for just over one month now. While we thought we’d blog our hearts out, truth be told, everything changed once we landed in Guatemala City, Guatemala.
We were in Guatemala about six weeks and in that time we’ve been all consumed by the best life has to offer … family!
Three Generations
Mr. Q. was born in Guatemala and lived there the first three years of his life. His family in Guatemala is a close-knit unit of 100+ members. They are big and they are close. Laughable, but true. I am a part of the WhatsApp chat group receiving 100’s of messages a day to prove it.
I came to meet his beautiful family almost 13 years ago and they welcomed me then as they do now, with open arms, total love, and one hell of a good time.
While in Guatemala City over the last month we basked in all that is family time and togetherness. My husband’s grandmother (who we lovingly refer to as ‘Super Abuelita’) is the strongest nucleus of family I’ve ever known. Our large family willingly revolves around her and all submit to her every wish. 
Her wishes often mean eating way more than your share. God forbid you reject a hardy meal. There’s lots of boozing too (she loves rum). Ultimately, and above all else, there’s lots and lots of love. It’s required to laugh and enjoy each other’s company, because that’s the best way to live! 
Another pretty amazing Super Abuelita wish is to remember and celebrate ALL birthdays and I mean ALL birthdays. In fact, the month of Sept. was one huge birthday whirlwind and the best reason to drive all over town on random weeknights and usually while braving the infamous Guatemalan traffic. Almost every other day, we enjoyed celebrating some one’s birthday whether that was #60 for our amazing Uncle Rafa or sweet b-day #2 for his adorable grandson (my new best friend) Raulito. Birthdays are cause for such joy and bonding and we’re thrilled to have gotten a glimpse into the non-stop togetherness that comes with honoring every single family member’s big day.
Guatemala also included some of our favorite highlights year after year such as a trip to Paseo Cayalá for shopping and the Old City of Antigua. A town to bask in colonial history and surround yourself by scenic volcanoes. We also experienced new and exciting excursions such as an unforgettable trip to the Chapin Auto Safari and IRTRA theme parks of Reu and Patapa. 
Under the palm trees enjoying black sand beaches of Playa Monterrico, Guatemala.
Up close and personal with the animals at Chapin Auto Safari. 
Ready for obstacles and adventure at Xpark Guatemala!
Make sure to visit us on Instagram @queventure.abroad to get a glimpse into our traveling adventure and family fun!

Our very own Eat, Pray, Love.

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I’ve never seen the travel-inspired movie “Eat, Pray, Love” but I can say the last quarter of our lives has involved a whole lot of eating, praying, and loving. As we’ve traveled from one Latin American country to another, we’ve had to create a new routine. A routine that’s made life on the road one big adjustment.
Eat

It’s no surprise being in nonstop vacation mode leads to eating a lot of very good food. We’ve had our fair share of delicious eats over the past three months and how could we not when visiting flavor-packed destinations such as Puerto Rico, Mexico, and now Guatemala.
However, vacations are often all about over-indulging and we can’t quite do that all day, everyday. What we are experiencing abroad is a lifestyle. We are living not vacationing everyday of our lives. So while we’ve truly indulged in international cuisine, we’ve also eaten many home-cooked meals and kept meals simple and healthy. Last week, my favorite go-to meal was smoothies, delicious fresh fruits, and grilled veggies/meats. I wish I could say most meals we eat are healthy, but what’s the fun in that?!? Tonight we arrived in a major city for the first time in over a month and ended up having fast food nuggets and pizza for dinner. Not the cuisine of choice in the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” but a yummy option nonetheless; and a fact that reminds us, it’s all about balance!

Pray

My husband and I have taken inventory on our travels and often scale different facets (quality time, prayer, health, etc.) between 1 and 10. There are some areas we consider a 6 and others a 7. However, when it comes to faith, prayer, and devotion we’re trending at a solid 9. I feel this is an area of consistency that has grounded us in our travels and kept us in a state of constant gratitude. 
Since arriving abroad, weekly church visits are standard. We don’t miss weekly mass and I am so proud of our commitment to giving at minimum 1 hour to our faith. We definitely spend more than an hour connected to our beliefs through meditation and plenty of family prayer time, but we also know that if all else feels not enough, we get one hour a week to pause and give thanks. Church is for the most part always in Spanish and while the kids at first felt lost and “borreeedd” they quickly grew to understand missing weekly mass wasn’t an option and required our full focus and appreciation. 
This adventure, in and of itself, entails a whole lot of faith and what better way to light the path then by staying connected to our religious core.
Love 

I couldn’t imagine living this journey without my husband and our beautiful children. The love we share and nurture everyday makes everything about our lives flow effortlessly from new city to new city. Love is also what keeps us looking forward to the day we return “home.” 

Every single one of us misses a piece of home and that usually includes everyone (not what) we’ve left behind. Noah cries because he misses his abuelita and Isaiah because he misses his friends. Sofia misses school, her old room, and our family dog (thank God for social media that allows us to “stalk” her new family and see her oh so happy). 

Diego and I miss our amazing families (relatives and work colleagues alike). We are relationship people deep down, so being abroad has meant sacrificing being with those we love and we love a lot of people. We will miss a lot in the next year: birthday parties and graduations, babies being born, and the always fun Quevedo family barbecues. While we use technology to stay connected to our circle, we have also clung to one another for our greatest source of fulfillment.

Today, we are closer than ever as a unit of five. The kids get to spend every waking moment with their immediate family, and though we sometimes bicker, we also get to love all over each other, All. The. Time. The hubby and I have our periodic date nights (kids and us too). 
We’re spending more time than ever before enjoying the little things: breakfast together every morning, exciting day-trips, quiet evenings of reflection, and plenty of down time traveling by plane, boat, or automobile.  There was no guarantee we wouldn’t drive eachother bonkers spending so much time together, and though we sometimes do, we are actually bickering a lot less in our new routine – a routine that though might seem all sunshine and hammocks – still involves daily school schedules and household chores.
In the end, there’s one thing that’s for certain  when it comes to long-term travel, through it all you’ll fall in love more deeply with those you miss, those you have close, and the entire world around you. 

Photos: Lake Atitlán, Guatemala Sept. 2017.

30 Lessons Learned After 30+ Days of Travel

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1. There’s no place like home.

2. …and any place can be home all at the same time.

3. We don’t need a lot of stuff. Seven to ten outfits per family member works wonders.
4. Our kids will master Spanish in the next year because being bilingual opens us up to so many relationships, experiences, and cultures.
5. Packing and unpacking gets easier and easier. We will not live out of a suitcase no matter how short our living stint. Making ourselves at home settles our gypsy spirits.
6. Extended travel tests and hopefully improves our patience since there’s plenty to wait on: cabs, planes, buses, and each other.
7. It’s important to meet new people abroad and find a way to make friends. It can get very lonely otherwise.
8. It’s been essential to keep in touch with loved ones. I call my mother more now than I did when I lived 15 mins. away.
9. There’s something so sexy about a husband and wife team working together everyday to move their family along.
10. The best McDonald’s apple pies are found outside of the US where they are fried instead of baked.
11. Limited choices are a-ok! We’ve encountered a lot of “supermarkets” that were more like American liquor stores with limited food choices and we’ve made it work just fine.
12. Photographs are our memories frozen in time, so our photography skills will require intention and practice.

13. As the great Paulo Coehlo once stated: “Travel is never a matter of money, but of courage.” Sometimes we eat for less than $15 bucks and we’ve found great Airbnb accommodates for $32 a night. 
14. As much as I love traveling with my family spending everyday time alone is critical. 
15. Our kids are more at ease when we’ve made time to be with them and them alone.
16. Going with your gut works! We’ll skip a cab ride or bail on an excursion as soon as our instincts spark doubt.
17. Travel helps us flourish and nourish love of art, museums, and history. 
18. Faith first! We haven’t missed church a Sunday abroad and plan not to. Church is a time for reflection and gratitude. It is one way of many that we stay grounded in our faith.
19. Our blog will work itself out how it’s meant to. It’s not this big undertaking we need to stress over. 
20. Homeschooling is already proving to be more complex than we first imagined, but we are fully up to the challenge of schooling three children next school year.
21. We aren’t backpackers and we don’t intend to be. We are a traveling family of five. This means we carry four checked-bags and about 6 carry-ons during travel days.
22. Health and safety is the most important concern we “worry”‘ and safeguard against on a daily and intentional basis.
23. For sanity’s sake, everyone needs an outlet: a good book, journal, pen pal, and/or playlist. Kids seem most thrilled to have their very own music playlists and pen pals.  
24. Once an over-sharer, always an over-sharer. Our social media accounts are active everyday… all 6 of them!

25. There’s no better food on earth than Mexican food. I am biased on that one, however, I still feel this way after 4 weeks in Mexico. 
26. Traveling brings out the best in us (and even the worst in us from time to time). A new destination doesn’t change who we are fundamentally. With that in mind, we simply do our best to minimize the “bad.”
27. Netflix in Mexico is WAY BETTER than in the states. Something about the availability of titles is much improved and we are milking it.
28. Children adapt to change but also need major validation when out of their comfort zone and missing home. We’ve all missed home from time to time.

29. Hotels were good for a little while, but Airbnb is king!
30. Truly, there’s no rush, no schedule, and no where we really need to be. That realization has given us the freedom to feel more present and break away from our previous life’s constant commitments and slam-packed schedules.
What has travel taught you?